The fear of getting old is real!

I’m 45 and I look it, by which I mean that I haven’t had any work done to make me appear younger. I’m trying my best to get down with the aging thing, to accept it, at least until I’ve decided that I can’t anymore. Almost every morning I discover some other small reminder that I am growing older: an age spot, another wrinkle or wisp of grey in my hair.




It really kicked in on my 42nd birthday

My first recognition of age setting in was exactly on my 42nd birthday. I have no idea why, on this day of all days, I looked in the mirror and realised my face no longer looked young. I didn’t look bad: only, the freshness had somehow disappeared. 
So is that what I was scared of looking old and not being attractive . Not getting attention . Which one was it ?
Sure I could have used Botox and fillers but before you know it I would have joined the Stepfords wife club 🙈
Do I need attention from other men ? Do I need to prove that I still have it ? Have what exactly? No I get plenty (of attention) at home from my husband (who by the way looks better with wrinkles- it’s soo unfair!)


Snapchat Filters 😂

This fear is made worse by Social Media

I live in the world of social media where 6 pack abs and “perked” bottoms are chased on a daily basis. Yes it has had an affect, it added to my fear of ageing.
I promote health and fitness, so what if I couldn’t be what I preach anymore? What if I don’t have that shiny smooth skin, definition and no cellulite !!!
Waking up every morning with anxiety made me realise that something big needed to change.  The more time I spent chasing a disappearing youth, the more time I was wasting. 
Making comparisons to other women, whether younger, a similar age or older was unhealthy and unhelpful, but somehow compelling. But it had to stop. 
I told myself that we are all on our own unique journey. Who knows how much stress someone else has had to deal with in their life. Who knows if they’re are healthy inside as well as out. Who knows if they’ve got a version of Photoshop that rolls back the years at will. 
Of course I couldn’t know, and of course I shouldn’t care!

I am a woman, not a number

Although we can’t stop the physical changes of aging, we can change our experience of it.
If we take care of ourselves, it makes us feel better and we smile more. When we smile, we look more attractive. Being fit and healthy makes us happy and makes us smile, it’s a winning cycle! The sooner we go through an interior process, the better you will feel inside and out. If we understand that self image is changeable, then that is what we need to conquer. Not age itself. That’s a battle we can’t win. 
You can define yourself at your chronological age. A particular age has little to do with how old you feel. You can define how you want to be at 40, at 50 and onward, it’s your state of mind, no one else’s. 
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is a proverb that dates back to Ancient Greek times, and for me it’s sentiment is timeless and applies equally to yourself looking in a mirror, as to someone else looking on. 
We also don’t have to let magazine images define what is beautiful. Some women in their 20’s feel old. Some women in their 60’s feel young. It’s up to you to define the age you feel, embrace it, accept it, and enjoy it. While your still young enough to. X